A gift to assist in the purchase of a home from a family member can be a blessing or an unpleasant ordeal. Some family members often find giving a gift intrusive or "a violation of privacy."
I close on my first home so far ago that Jimmy Carter was the president. But the memories linger with me still. My in-laws gave us a gift of $5,000. My wife and I were so happy and we thought the Sunday dinner was just the start of the celebration. But by the closing, my wife was not speaking to her father, my in laws would not sleep in the same room, and I was close to being hospitalized. My inlaws just wanted to give us the money and be done.
If you are the family member giving a gift, read on because so you can avoid doing something akin to what my in laws did.
I understand you mean well, but you do not realize what stress is caused or know that housing laws on gifts apply to everybody. And, your loved one absolutely hates and dreads having to ask you for this information.
Many family members:
- Object to signing a gift letter
- Demand multiple explanations on anything they are asked to do
- Object to sending the bank statement as an invasion of privacy
- Do not send the monthly bank statement hoping the bank forgets
- Send the monthly bank statements but cross out information
- Send a one page print out of their bank account rather than a full month
- Claim the bank manager said “The statement won’t be ready until …”
- Use a banker as a shield “it is private we do not disclose customer information.”
In order for a bank approval and your loved ones getting the home, we need a signed gift letter, your monthly bank statement just before you gave the gift, and a copy of the gift transaction, check or wire showing from your account.
Some banks will not accept a loan application with a gift unless the donor’s gift letter and bank account is included simply because donors often create delays.
If your concern is showing family members your bank account, or wondering who will see it and how will it be used: access to your statement is limited to mortgage officials. Your loved ones are not shown their file, much less will they see your documents. If this is the issue, then send me the documents directly skipping past your loved ones.
Here is what has happened to 2 of my prior customers whose donors delayed too long in doing what needed to be done
- Patty in Orlando lost her $2,000 escrow because the seller refused to extend the contract date and put the house back on the market for a higher price
- Jim in Myakka City had to pay an $700 for a penalty provision in the contract and an extra $340 in bank fees to relock the loan.
Send the entire monthly statement just before you made the gift. If your statement has 9 pages and page 9 is an advertisement, send all 9 pages. Do not cross out your account number, or any transactions or anything on your bank statement
Absent a law passed by Congress and signed by the President specifically excluding you, we have no choice.